1. |
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Look at their literacy, look at it, look at mine
Letters, letters, anxiety lies
I'm yellow from chewing too much ice
Weather, weather, weather reports
They cut you off and I'm cut short
And I guess he's not really that nice, is he...
Who'd want to be married to you?
You'd be eschewed
And well I guess that's one less threat
I know it's petty, but I bet
you'd feel the same in this place
Stupid is as stupid fucks
You're stuck in your suit and stuck in a rut
Here, let me help you get it off
The slut
He's alright, in theory.
Him, what?
He's great, but he's loved so dearly.
This resemblance drawing is killing me.
I bet if anyone else could see,
even you, you'd tell me I was wrong.
He's down at the hospital
He has your face but no room to betray his
monogamous lungs
So, w(h)e(a)ther.
Were you fired?
Are you a terrified little liar?
You come to me, and you're so angry,
and we both want to dismantle the same, exactly,
but you can't speak,
and you can't tell them that they shouldn't be talking.
It's a sad sad story, but forever true
The Cold Boy and the Deliberate Muse
and I am not going to argue with you.
It's a sad sad story, but forever true
The Cold Boy and the Deliberate Muse
Who'd want to be married to you?
Who'd want to be married to you...
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2. |
Paper Cloud
03:57
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Human, made of blood
Often imbued with lust
Human, snacking on love
You cannot wait for this to be done
A kid, pushing away
On the inside she's yearning all day
And everyone, everyone is leaving town
They are eye to eye
He is not surprised
She lives, she lives and thrives
Off the longings in her head
Now they sit so still
Not a word is shrill
There's a revolution in their beds
in their heads
You're floating now, but it's a slippery slope
You can't see it now, but it's barely a rope
Holding you up, dear!
You better not forget to fear!
It's a paper cloud, and your sounds are loud
but you're silent on the outside,
when there's nothing to hide,
it's tremendously wide,
and we will shove it into our bedrooms
until we need to sleep.
Six months deep.
It's a bad dream
Such a bad dream
It came, by snow and rain
but soon enough it was spring again
Yet something, something, has changed
and the view from here is poisoned
The earth is pulled away
Left with nothing to say
They let it go on for a little while
But the sounds are getting bitter
Wither
Where do I fit if not in the air?
Unsatisfied, you stare
While I count how many looks you take.
If you didn't notice, we are on the ground.
Don't you remember when you and I found
the paint chipping, and everything was gray?
But not as sad as today...
You're floating now, but it's a slippery slope
You can't see it now, but it's barely a rope
Holding you up, dear!
You best not forget to fear!
It's a paper cloud, and your sounds are loud
but you're silent on the outside,
when there's nothing to hide,
it's tremendously wide,
and we will shove it into our bedrooms.
Six months deep.
It's a bad dream!
Such a bad dream...
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3. |
Spare Time
03:09
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What do you do in your spare time?
Cause I don't wanna be the stick
Your role models
I have no credence, just apprehension...
Coming up, coming up, coming up
Going down, going down, going down
reminds me of the things
I saw
On the ground
He's been there
Wisdom conquered, it was a good night.
But when you haven't been there,
do you know what's right?
Chemistry
What the two of us are always dealing with
They've been there
Now they don't try to feel it
I have the utmost respect
But as you're getting old
I say:
Don't die.
I said I didn't know, but I'll never and I don't know why.
Never do anything you wouldn't want your baby to.
Because it's getting old,
pain has gone away.
The others, across the street,
down the road, on their knees,
they don't have what we, I, have.
Do you have what I have?
Please tell me that you have what I have,
'cause I don't wanna be
any of these useless things.
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4. |
Unfortunately Born
05:35
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I wish I had a brother.
A brother, just like me.
I wish I had a brother to tell me exactly what he means.
I wish I had a sister,
to write everything down.
I wish I had a sister who would tell me not to fret when he left town.
I wish I had an answer.
An answer to soothe me.
I wish I had an answer that would keep me from this violence,
and set us free.
I wish that you would think.
I wish your mind was pure.
I wish there was a way for me to know just what is alright,
but nothing kills me more.
They built a wall between us.
I tried to tear it down.
And I think I did a good job, but there's just one brick left,
and let me tell you, it is loud.
It isn't made of rock,
No, it isn't made of stone,
but it's made of grace and smoke and scents and sighs that chill me to the bone.
I wish I wasn't strange.
I wish I knew that fire.
I wish there was some way for me to understand you,
except sit here and listen to you talk about desire.
I wish that you would just grow up.
Or at least, I didn't, either
I wish I knew who you were before you met me,
and how I proceed from here...
There's a woman in the country,
dressed a dark purple gown,
and she is fine, and she's happy,
even when no one's around.
There's a girl in a town,
sitting on a purple floor,
and she is humming to herself sadly,
wishing, wishing, you were more-
There is a lady in the city,
watching over a child,
and she is fine, and she's happy,
and she'll come home and be proud.
There's a girl in a town,
sitting on that very floor,
that you dreamt of last night,
when you walked through the door,
You were there with your friends
and we had to leave the room
because they were getting loud
and you wanted, you wanted them to know.
Why you're here.
And I just wanted to let go of all that fear.
And the entire wall was gone.
And the grace, and the smoke had returned
to where the kids are born,
where the kids are born,
where we all are so unfortunately born.
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5. |
World Of
04:11
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Into the world of boys
and the thoughts that I had
and I wondered if my gut was bad
and it welled up in my mouth
when I tried to smoke
no, I tried to hope
who would want to for a day?
he felt the world of girls
and the blur between beauties
the red smiles, the flowery wiles
and I don't know what she thinks
and I don't really know what she'd do
do I count on myself?
I know no truth
Now, I've thought a lot
and I have decided
that that kind of dirty ain't part of your mind
and so is mine
because I keep wishing to be
living between the two words, always haunting me
and I ask for this
cursing the puritans
I'm too disgusted with you to keep reading
into the world of boys
where is the respect?
what do i expect?
for i'm blessed not to be pretty...
look at those trees
satisfied or not it's time to leave
I perceive
a baby's blinking at me
blame your friends. Origins.
Wait, what am I wishing upon your life?
how have i deemed them?
so perfectly cursed
so perfectly confused
but they are blessed to see every shade of blue in your shirts
So, I'm sticking with the kids
who have loved and condemned
and listened, sickened, sickened
I hate them
I hate them
I hate you
briefly I do,
but more than anything, I just do not understand you.
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6. |
Voices and Cartoons
03:50
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You fell in love with me before you knew my body
You fell in love with me before you knew my face
You fell in love with me before I understood
the complexities of time and waste
You fell in love with me when I knew my body
You fell in love with me when I knew my face.
Before it was tangled, and torn up, and tightened, and thrown out,
Before I knew about fear and how the world's so damn unsafe,
no one gets away.
And I think that's something that we forget.
It's completely lost in the things you say.
And I know you better than most human beings
No one lives completely in night or day.
It is hard to see from the other side
just exactly what is missing
but when you climb out the box,
see over the top,
surprise, surprise,
it is a different kind of gazing.
I hope that Thomas is still going on.
I hope that [redacted] is wearing a skirt tonight.
I do not hope that you are staying strong, or tough, or big, or full of might.
And she told me that he was a sociopath,
but last night I saw tears in his eyes,
and I know what you're thinking,
that I'm just assuming,
but something tells me that I must be right.
Because this is INDISPUTABLY wrong.
And it has NOTHING to do with me.
Maybe I have trouble seeing SOMETIMES,
but my intuition is strong, usually.
And I've thought this over, and over, and over,
and I know what I am not anymore.
They say at this age, you get to choose your path,
but I have known this long before
and it just
makes me want to go back
to when we were voices and cartoons
when we picked our own names
and we could always change them
if we want to
we can change, if we want to...
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7. |
Blankets
04:53
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I have a spare bed here.
It's warm, and it's clean.
And I will lay it in for you, if that is what you want from me.
And are we dying?
Or are we dead,
cause I haven't felt you,
and I cannot lose again.
You've never held me.
It's a jumble of mirth.
I pull you towards me,
as if you were the first.
(And you are)
as if you'd given birth.
(And you're far)
Like I'm some kind of widow.
Oh, you're speaking French,
I don't hear your name due to accents,
I saw you in him and I saw him in the blankets.
Oh, my soul is split,
I tell everyone not to do it.
Who needs to? Come on, who needs to?
Oh, split, renewed.
And you burn for me,
But you won't call me back, purgatory.
Oh, so distracted,
burdened but still scared of happiness,
Should I let it go?
Will I be dry?
How can I know?
I mumble like he would.
And I try not to scratch.
And I will keep on moving out,
yeah it hurts, but that is that.
But when I feel your fervors,
so much is erased.
And I think that we're fine,
but love is replaced.
This is far beyond what I thought I was still made of.
Do you get like this? Not unhappy, not quite desperate.
Getting tender now.
Whisper to me about libraries.
Remember what I read.
Will we die? Will we die?
Are we dead?
And we'll live a we(ea)k dream.
And be infinite.
And when it all ends,
we'll call it an accident.
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8. |
Fate or Convenience
05:42
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Let's go back awhile, before it was you and me.
When it was a bit abnormal of us to stay up until three.
You come in, and I'm bothered,
and when you come in, I am not,
and you come into my life quicker than I ever thought,
and we fall. But then you tell me we can't be, no, no,
and you go and blame it all on some stupid theory.
I remember, you said...
We should grab the people that we stand with,
and dance with the people that we can grab.
And I don't understand, what it means, all of this,
but it's raining here too, and I just want to ask;
Do you think the others feel like this?
Or do you think they've succumbed to convenience?
Is it fate or convenience?
Tell me now, how do you feel about it?
We're going downtown, you've never been here before.
And we're well aware we're the children of the lovers who do not love anymore.
And we're lining up now, we planned to buy tickets at the door.
But they tell us that there is only one left, and we know right away
if we'll split or we'll soar
because we would grab the people stand we stand with,
and dance with the people that we can grab,
and we'd know down inside that it's all meaningless,
but it still would be sad, and we don't want that.
So let's go home, my friends are busy tonight,
and it's sad here, to me,
but I can tell that you feel all right,
because this is all new to you.
And suddenly the walls are getting bright.
The color of your soul
It was always this shade, right?
Turn out the light
and let's do this
Grab me, I stand with you
Dance with me, you can have me, oh
and I understand once and for all.
But I have just one simple little question
that you never answered.
You probably don't even remember...
Is it fate or convenience?
You never told me how you feel about
anything
so if you could now, please
tell me
before I let you that far into me
tell me now
please
why are you here
and do you still love me
go on
tell me
tell me
tell me
tell me
me
you
you
you
You.
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C. Kiten Los Angeles, California
Brittany Scheffler
Stormy alt-folk/post-sadcore from your penpal across the earth.
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